The negative side of positive thinking

 This was a topic in last week’s New Scientist (8 June 2024) under the heading, The Happiness Trap, an article written by Conor Feehly, a (freelance journalist, based in Bangkok). Basically, he talks about the plethora of ‘self-help’ books and in particular, the ‘emergence of the positive psychology movement in 1998’. I was surprised he could provide a year, when one would tend to think it was a generational transition. At least, that’s my experience.
 
He then discusses the backlash (my term, not his) that’s occurred since, and mentions a study, ‘published in 2022, [by] an international group of psychologists exploring how societal pressure to be happy affects people in 40 countries’ (my emphasis). He cites Brock Bastian at the University of Melbourne, who was part of the study, “When we are not willing to accept negative emotions as a part of life, this can mean that we may see negative emotions as a sign there is something wrong with us.” And this gets to the nub of the issue.
 
I can’t help but think that there is a generational effect, if not a divide. I see myself as being in between, generationally speaking. My parents lived through the Great Depression and WW2, so they experienced enough negative emotion for all of us. Growing up in rural NSW, we didn’t have much but neither did anyone else, so we didn’t think that was exceptional. There was a lot of negative emotion in our lives as a consequence of the trauma that my Dad experienced as both a wartime serviceman and a prisoner-of-war. It was only much later, as an adult, that I realised this was not the norm. Back then, PTSD wasn’t a term.
 
One of the things that struck me in Feehly’s article was the idea of ‘acceptance’. To quote:
 
Research shows that when people accepted their negative emotions – rather than judging mental experience as good or bad – they become more emotionally resilient, experiencing fewer negative feelings in response to environmental stressors and attaining a greater sense of well-being.
 
He also says in the same context:
 
The good news is that, as we age, we increasingly rely on acceptance – which might help to explain why older people tend to report better emotional well-being.
 
As one of that cohort (older people), I can identify with that sentiment. Acceptance is a multi-faceted word, because one of the unexpected benefits of getting older is that we learn to accept ourselves, becoming less critical and judgemental, and hopefully extending that to others.
 
In our youth, acceptance by one’s peers is a prime driver of self-esteem and associated behaviours, and social media has to a large extent hijacked that impulse, which was also highlighted by Brock Bastian (cited above).
 
I’ve got side-tracked to the extent that this is the antithesis of the so-called ‘positive psychology movement’, possibly because I think my generation largely avoided that trap. We are more likely to see that a ‘think positive’ attitude in the face of all of life’s dilemmas and problems is a delusion. What’s obvious is that negative emotional states have evolutionary value, because they have ancient roots. The other point that’s obvious to me is that we are all addicted to stories, where we vicariously experience negative emotions on a regular basis. In fact, a story that only contained positive emotions would never be read, or watched.
 
What has always been obvious to me, and which I’ve written about before, including in the very early history of this blog, is that we need adversity to gain wisdom. As I keep saying, it’s the theme of virtually every story ever told. When I look back on my early adult years and how seemingly insurmountable they felt, my older self is so grateful I persevered. There is a hypothetical often raised: what advice would you give your younger self? I’d just say, ‘Hang in there, it gets better.’