Some notes on writing, with examples

 These are some posts I’ve written on Quora over the last month – a small sample (only 4), as I often write 2 or 3 in one day.

The first 3 are about dialogue and the last one is about description - so, no dialogue. All but the first include examples.
 

How can one improve their dialogue writing skills for a novel or short story? What techniques can be used to make dialogue more engaging and authentic?

I have one word for dialogue: spontaneity. I really think that’s the key, so I don’t overthink it. I compare it to learning a musical instrument (something I failed at), which means it requires a lot of practice – a point that Vincent Berg makes and emphasises in his answer.

Actors will tell you that the secret to their craft is to be in the moment (I can’t act either) and to be able to say a line of dialogue as if it’s just come into their head. Well, that’s exactly my approach when I write it.

I learned how to write dialogue from doing exercises in writing classes, so that’s what I recommend to everyone else who is just starting out. 

 
What's the difference between good and bad dialogue?

Most truthful answer: I don’t know, but I know it when I read it.

This is because anyone can judge dialogue, not just writers. Factors that contribute are more subliminal than obvious. For a start, it doesn’t distract or throw the reader out of the story, which means it’s contextual and relevant. Dialogue that jars means it’s inconsistent and doesn’t fit with our expectations of that character.

All dialogue reflects the relationship between characters, which could be one of power or vulnerability or potential friendship or potential adversary. Relationships can change and grow or deteriorate, and dialogue reflects all of that. A relationship can change from one of contempt to begrudging respect, for example, and that can be hard to pull off.

It may sound strange, but I don’t think about it too much, because it has to be spontaneous. I often compare it to playing jazz, even though I’m not a musician. You need to get inside the character’s head and know what they’re thinking. Given it’s always at least a 2-way interaction, you need to be able to swap heads. I really don’t know how I do that, but I just do.

An example always helps. Note we get some exposition as well as an insight into their relationship. Note also how mundane and ordinary the subject-matter is.

Astera asked Alfa if Carla was available for a holo-link, and within minutes she appeared in his room, lying on a bed, propped up on her elbows. Her blonde hair falling below her shoulders.


‘How was the moon?’ she asked.


‘We spent most of the time underground. Though, on its surface, you get an unbelievable view of the stars.’


‘Did you enjoy it? Was it worth the visit?’


‘I wouldn’t want to spend a lot of time there. Do you know women aren’t allowed?’


‘Actually, I did. Kym’s sister, Rita, wanted to work there, but they won’t let her.’


Astera wanted to change the subject, ‘It’s good to see you.’ He immediately felt that it was such a lame thing to say, but Carla surprised him.


Her face softened, because she knew it was genuine, ‘Good to see you too.’


He wanted to reach out and touch her, ‘Can we catch up today, do you think?’


‘Yes, I think so. What do you want to do?’


 ‘Why don’t we meet in the mall and decide from there.’


‘Okay, have you had lunch?’


‘I had a snack on the shuttle, but I could eat something more substantial.’


‘Okay, let’s sync our wrist bands so we can find each other.’


He saw her press the band on her wrist and he heard a ping on his.
 She then waved at him and disappeared into thin air.
 
 
What are some strategies to make dialogue and exposition flow naturally in a narrative, especially in scenes with minimal action?

There are 5 types or modes of narrative: description, action, exposition, dialogue and introspection. Some call introspection, ‘insight’, which it is for the reader, but I call it introspection, because it’s written entirely from inside the character’s head.

I wouldn’t overthink this, as it’s really a matter of fit-for-purpose. I’ve written scenes that are all exposition and scenes that are all description, but it’s not the norm. However, in cases where I’ve done that, it’s to compress time.

I’ve written long passages of introspection, but it’s where the POV character is alone – I did this in Elvene, when she was trapped underground.

Action is sequential, so think choreography; if it’s a fight scene, stay in one POV. But a car chase would also be action, or a space battle, which I’ve written. Again, keep it linear and sequential – one thing happens after another.

Dialogue is actually the easiest to write, though it mightn’t seem so when you’re starting out. It’s also the easiest to read, because it engages the reader, assuming it’s well written. Again, it helps if you stay in one POV.

Use description to set up a scene, but keep it brief, and also use a character’s POV, and then stick with it. Dialogue always tells us something about the relationship between the interlocutors. Exposition is often included in dialogue.

Artemus was seated behind his semicircular desk with the cityscape behind him as a floor to ceiling vista; a not-so-subtle reminder of what he commanded.


He gestured for Sartre to take a seat in the only chair available.


‘How are you finding the woman called Donna?’


Sartre thought his phrasing indicated that he didn’t think of Donna as someone of any significance to him.


‘She seems okay. The girls like her and she doesn’t interfere with what they do.’


Artemus nodded as if this satisfied him, ‘What’s her relationship with Kym?'

Sartre knew that Artemus already knew the answer, so he said, ‘I believe they’re lovers.’


Artemus smiled, ‘You only believe?’


‘I haven’t asked them and I don’t intrude on their private lives, but they do spend a lot of time together and their body language suggests they’re more than friends.'

Artemus got up and the desk rotated so that he was now standing directly in front of Sartre, which made him uncomfortable. Sartre knew it was intentional. 

Artemus walked to Sartre’s left and slightly behind before continuing.


‘I’m pretty sure Donna is a spy.’


Sartre turned his head towards him, ‘How do you know that?’


Artemus looked down at him without bending his head. ‘I don’t, it’s a hunch.’


He turned on his heels and walked back to his chair, so that he faced Sartre without the desk. ‘You don’t become as successful as me by trusting people.’


Sartre said, ‘What do you want to do?’


‘Nothing.’ He let the desk resume its original position and then put his elbows on it with his hands together, his fingers resting at his nose. Then he put them down in order to elaborate, ‘She’s put herself in a position where we can use her.’

 
Why do some beautifully described settings fail to make a story compelling, and how can writers balance description with plot action?

It’s possible to do both at the same time, depending on context and where you are in the story. I think it’s important to create mood and atmosphere, and its effect on the character. This is an example I’ve given before because it achieves a number of things at once: it compresses time, moves the story forward and creates tension and expectation. 

Elvene walked across the rolling hills in front of her and only occasionally glanced back towards the ocean. She was conscious of leaving behind her only link to long term survival in the form of Alfa, who was hidden and incommunicado. She knew she was taking a huge gamble, but Alfa was no insurance policy against marauders, and ultimately the ship’s survival may be more important than hers. At times she couldn’t see the ocean at all, as she crossed shallow valleys, but it always reappeared when she climbed the western side. There was a strong wind coming in from the sea and she imagined that it could be a desolate place at some times of the year but today the sky was relatively clear with some clouds scudding across at high altitude. She reckoned that she should reach the tree line at just about sunset, though she knew such estimates could be misleading. The sun was falling towards the hills in front of her and when she reached the last valley, the shadows slowly stretched towards her like the forest was reaching out to embrace her approach.